All Change

I’m about to make some huge changes. If the numerous decisions of my life were arranged as emails in my Gmail account, I’d star this one and create a folder called ‘HUGE CHOICES’ and file it in there along with ‘Not moving to Jamaica in 1998′ and ‘Taking Claudia out for first date’ etc.

I’m leaving the UK and going to live in Scandinavia with my wife; Denmark to be precise. Am I scared? YES!! Of course I am. Am I excited? Majorly! It’s going to change everything. The way I work. Our lifestyle. Our future. I believe strongly in everything having its season; its moment. I also subscribe to a kind of destiny. ‘Kind of’ because, I believe we have the power to change it, but somewhere way below the surface flows an undercurrent that slowly takes us there. I believe my wife and I are supposed to do this! Every little piece of this move’s puzzle, has just fallen so neatly into place…it’s scary!

I’ll have more time on my hands to pursue the creativity, so gonna crack on with the writing and the odd little bit of music too. Gonna start a little United Nations family; let me explain:

My wife: Turkish, Danish, Norwegian, Swedish.

Me: British (Londoner…SOUTH Londoner to be precise!!!) Jamaican, with Cuban and Indian heritage.

We decided we’re gonna print off some business cards for the kids, so when they’re asked that age old question, So where are you from? They can just present it and cut out the ten minute description.

I guess the feel and direction of this blog will change with the move. I’ll keep you up to speed.

Image

 

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FREE DOWNLOAD. My New Single – (Love Is) Here Now

It’s taken forever, but my first release ‘(Love Is) Here Now’ is finally finished!

Shameless self promotion aside, I thought I’d use this post to say a little something about the producer of this track Justin Atherley. I’ve known Jay for many years now, and as well as being an amazing pianist/keyboardist and producer, he is about the most humble and unassuming musician I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. Please check out his music. We’ll definitely be creating more music together, but I think Justin is destined for bigger and better things!

Once you’ve done that, listen to our track below. It would be great to get your feedback. It’s available right HERE as a FREE DOWNLOAD.

AND IF YOU LIKE IT, PLEASE SHARE IT!

Thanks
—-

Words, vocals, vocal arrangement by SEAN J. RANKINE

All instruments and production by JUSTIN ATHERLEY

Mixed by MAQMAN

The man himself.

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Struggle (an old spoken word piece)

I need some help through this mess.
Feels like I’m swimming upstream
through weeds of self-consciousnesses.

I digress daily.
And through my eyes closed sinning.
Try to readdress through these lines I’m singing.

To friends and foes, doors close on opportunities
to stand up and let the world hear my woes.
With irony paralleling guns and clips;
Wanting to empty my mind of all the truth that’s within it.

But hesitation takes its grip.
Don’t want to alienate myself
from my genres demographic.
Need to write lines that sit
comfortably on playlists.
No A&R wants to hear of subject matters like this.

Evidently, procrastination kills me.
The air now filled with the foul stench of hypocrisy.
Like a sepulchre, outside well adorned.
But within containing that which causes our people to mourn.

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My own image.

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Paris!

Last weekend we had a small second honeymoon in Paris.  We’ve both visited before, but this was our first time together.  It was cool, as we’re a little more cultured than we were in our youth. (how pretentious does that sound?)  We visited some amazing galleries, bookshops and restaurants.  My wife speaks six languages, so it was also nice to be able to impress her with a language she didn’t understand; albeit with my extremely basic (almost making waiters laugh out loud) French.

Claudia’s a serious photographer.  I’m not.  I just take the odd shot…

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Stepping Back From The Keyhole

I had the weirdest experience last week on the way home from work, no not breaking down again. This was less common than running out of fuel. This is so strange I’m not entirely sure whether I should post this, in fact this is probably the only time I’m hoping I DON’T get pressed!

I was driving and thinking as I do, when I suddenly had an epiphany (or delusion, you decide.) that my body was merely a frame and that I exist within the frame and not within the world outside it. My body exists within the world outside, but I exist only within my body. And that everything I call life is merely experienced via interactions with this frame. Does this that make any sense? I for maybe a part of a second kind of went inside myself and felt a surge of panic ladened claustrophobia. I was trying to explain this to my wife, who looked at me as though she were in a film, deciding whether to hug the lead who had just so brutally massacred a gang of street robbers, using only his bare hands and teeth, or get out her can of pepper spray and run for her life! Anyway the best explanation I could come up with, was to say that everyday life is like looking through a keyhole. You see the other side of the door and that is your entire perspective. I for a split of a split second stepped back from the hole and looked at the door and its room; a dark, windowless, cupboard of a room!

Am I going mad, or has anyone else experienced anything like this? Or am I just going mad? Should I get my wife to handcuff me to the radiator, while she runs for help? In any case, I think I might use this in my novel.

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Image courtesy of rottentomatoes.com

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Creative Writer Blogging Award (with new poem)

Yesterday I received an award. The Creative Writer Blogging Award.

“This award is given to those who share their creativity through writing stories, poems and themselves through their writing.

The rules are that this award should be given to those who have written a poem, a story, scripts, or some other creative form of writing for their blog.

They call for you to:

1. Thank the blogger who nominated you for the award, and link to their blog
2. Write a 8 line poem about yourself.
3. Nominate 4 other bloggers for the award and notify them of their nomination”

So this award has been given to me by Original Apple Junkie. The great thing about blogging is its versatility. You can approach it from a plethora of angles and can get from it whatever you want. Original Apple Junkie, like all good bloggers, presents the subject, in her case the crazy events of her everyday life, in a thought provoking and entertaining way. She was one of the first people I started reading on WP. Check her out.

Okay the 8 line poem about me. I’ve had parts of these lines rattling around in my head for a few days, so this gave me a good excuse to dress them up and tie them down. Here is my piece. It’s more spoken word than traditional poem.

Free
The other me brandishes an epiphany, riding shotgun.
He waves his eureka lightbulb at those who wish to redo that which was undone.
Untied, unbolted. Revived, revolted.
I watch as insecurity and fear of failure,
scamper into the glutinous darkness of non-wonder.
Dancing for those who have not yet seen the light.
Through sacred flight my epiphany arrives for all and is delivered in three.
NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE. I am now free.

Four bloggers…
This is tough. I’ve had a few of these awards and I usually don’t post about them. Firstly, because I think they give the impression that you take yourself a little too seriously, and secondly because I take the nominating part, that is always an aspect of these awards really seriously! I don’t want to just nominate anyone. Anyway, I think these guys are great and I really enjoy their work. Check them out:

Mut(e)iny

My Magical Escape

Poeta Officium

Elliebloo

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The Long Walk

So I’m one of those optimists who can normally find positivity in most undesirable situations. “There’s a reason for everything,” is one of the brushes I regularly employ to paint in that silver lining. Yesterday the paint brush came out again.

My petrol is pretty much on empty. I’m approaching junction 8 on the M20. The distance between Junction 8 and 9 is about 15 miles. It’s the longest section of the motorway I use daily between work and home. There’s a petrol station at both junctions. At Junction 9 there’s a reasonably priced supermarket fuel garage. At Junction 8 there’s an overpriced Texaco service station. One of the bi-products of driving my daily 160 mile commute is my new found patience behind the wheel. Another is my almost geeky obsession with fuel efficiency and prices, so as I approached Junction 8, I look at the petrol gauge, accompanied by its flashing yellow warning message on my dashboard, think for a moment and decide to go for the cheaper fuel at Junction 9. About 12 miles in, I run out of fuel. I curse my thriftiness and my fuel efficient (but not efficient enough) car. I turn the key once and then turn it again, hoping the petrol fairy has deposited a few litres in the interim. She’s clearly busy. I consider calling my recovery company, but figure they’ll take too long to come and I’ll be bored as hell. I get out, lock the car and start on the first leg of my 6(ish) mile trek.

Lesson 1. There are still some nice people left in this world. – I’m walking away from the car clutching, my petrol can, still cursing my bad decision, which is waving to me and pulling faces some 12 miles behind. I hear the sound of a lorry’s horn and see a small red car screech into the hard shoulder some 60 metres ahead. I (not even for a minute considering someone would stop for me) stroll on, already questioning the logic of my decision to walk. As I approach the parked car, the passenger door swings open and I am invited in. The driver insists that he’ll take me to the fuel garage, but won’t be able to take me back. He explains that he ran out of fuel a few weeks ago, and promised himself he’d pick someone up if he was in a position to in the future. I thank him and thank him some more and offer him money, that I know he will refuse. We talk about work, the Olympics and driving before, without fanfare he drops me to the garage and drives off. I could kiss this guy right now. I go to the pump and fill my can, which like all petrol containers isn’t made for the power of a petrol pump. I probably spill around a pound’s worth of fuel on my jeans, hands and floor. I pay the cashier, who asks where I’ve broken down. I tell her. She wishes me well adding ‘I hope it doesn’t rain.’ I haven’t thought of that until now. I’m worried!

I walk away, over a footbridge, and back to the side of the motorway where somewhere in the distant horizon my car sits with blinking hazard lights. I’m here walking and praying on its behalf that it doesn’t get rear ended by a lorry. Cars can’t pray.

Lesson 2. Motorways are scary when not in a car. – I head down the motorway. I squint at the dust filled gusts bouncing off the front of huge lorries and cars all driving past me anywhere between 60 and 80mph. I look on the hard shoulder I walk upon and notice skid marks, crash debris and chunks of tyre rubber. I suddenly realise how dangerous this stroll is. The information that had burrowed beneath my determination to refuel and get home, has decided to show itself, proud like a road killed peacock. If a driver were to be texting his wife, lose control and swing into my path, I’d be killed. If a lorry were to have a blowout and swerve into the hard shoulder I’d be crushed…oh yeah and killed. I hear my mind push out all these mortal facts. Now I’m not trying to compare the M20 to the Nairobi desert, or some other epiphany ladened landscape, but I do experience a minor light bulb moment. ‘Just walk!’. I tell myself. ‘There’s no alternative right now. You can’t can’t change this, so just walk.’. So I do.

Lesson 3. There are wild snakes in Kent. – I keep walking and notice a long thin snake moving along the road in that unmistakable snake like way. It is only about 8 inches long and black, but it is definitely a snake. I stop, forgetting where I am and watch it sliver into the high grass on the steep banking that rises quickly away from the road. I keep walking. I’m now getting impatient. I’ve been walking for about half an hour and I still see no sign of the car. I start to fear that it’s been crashed into, and towed away. I pick up my pace. I see a plume of smoke rising in the distance. My mind tells me it’s my car. I walk faster. I notice the severed head of what I think was a fox. It’s lower teeth splay out like toppled dominoes. It looks like it is smiling at me. I imagine it leaping up and handing me a wet sponge and a cup of cold water. ‘You can do it man!’ I smile back appreciatively and keep going. I turn a bend and there she is! She isn’t crumpled or scratched. She’s just as she was when I started this quest. Her hazard lights seem to quicken, like a dog’s tail upon its owner’s returns. I refuel. I climb in. Turn the key and become a fickle driver; oblivious to the safari I’ve just survived and now blurs past me. Thinking only of home.

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Image courtesy of ClaudiaJR Photography.
All rights reserved.

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