So our big day is fast approaching. Within a matter of weeks I will be a happily married man. As you can probably imagine, every last detail is covered; Outfits bought, flowers chosen, first dance song selected. There is however one last detail that is troubling me…facial hair! To shave or not shave?
I’ve been sporting my jaw hair for about 6 months now, and am currently standing at a crossroads. You see there are times in every man’s life when you have to make decisions –decisions that define your manhood. One of those is the ‘do I keep my beard?’ decision. Think about it, we all know which way Sean Connery, Isaac Hayes, Abraham Lincoln and the short fat guy from ‘The Hangover’ went. And in so doing their beards have become their ‘thing.’ I mean can you imagine the KFC Colonel without his white cartoon goatee? No, me neither. And if there’s any place where a face rug can be intrinsically attached to brand ‘You’, it has to be on your wedding day.
Anyone from distant relatives, unsuspecting visitors to our parents’ homes or Facebook stalking ex-partners, will notice my Marvin Gaye circa 1971 look. The mental image will be seared into their memories. It will almost certainly become my thing, and I’ll feel compelled to maintain it for life. My dad had one when he married my facial hair loving mother, and I’ve only seen the sunlight deprived skin of his chin once in 36 years, and I still reckon that was in error (a rogue beard trimming appliance!)
But the alternative is a bland, unremarkable, completely forgettable, GQ-esque, Gillette chin. I want to make a statement. I want my great grandchildren to look up my Facebook obituary profile (you know they’ll have one by then – ‘Gravebook’ or something similar) and think, “Yeah, our great grandfather didn’t conform to early 21st Century wedding day protocol. He displayed his beard growing prowess with pride! He was a real man. Not only that, he looked cool too! I’m so proud of his trend setting ways, I’m gonna press ‘LIKE’.”
I guess that answers my question then. Beard it is. Take that Mr Remington!